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- Dealing with Grief During the Holidays: How to Cope When Loss Feels Stronger
The holiday season is often synonymous with joy, togetherness, and celebration. It’s a time when families gather, traditions are honored, and the warmth of shared moments fills the air. But for those who are grieving, the holidays can be a painful reminder of what’s missing, whether it’s a loved one who’s passed away, a relationship that’s ended, or any other significant loss. The very things that make the holidays special can also make the absence of our loved ones feel more intense, and the weight of grief can feel even heavier. If you are mourning during this time, know that you are not alone. It’s okay to not feel the holiday spirit the way others might. It’s okay to feel sadness, longing, and even anger. Grief doesn’t follow a timetable, and the holiday season can sometimes amplify the emotions we carry. As a grief counsellor, I’ve worked with many people who find the holidays particularly challenging. I’ve seen the power of acknowledging these feelings, sitting with them, and allowing them to be a part of the healing process. In this post, I want to offer some guidance and comfort for those who are coping with grief during the holidays. There is no “right” way to grieve, but there are ways to navigate the season with compassion and care for yourself. Acknowledge Your Feelings One of the most important steps in coping with grief during the holidays is to allow yourself to feel. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you “should” be happy or “should” be embracing the season, especially when everyone around you seems to be. But the reality is that grief is personal and doesn’t operate on a calendar. It’s important to give yourself permission to feel what you feel, whether it’s sadness, anger, exhaustion, or even relief. Grief doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten your loved one or that you’re not honoring their memory, it means you’re still healing. Allowing yourself to experience these emotions, rather than suppressing or ignoring them, is a crucial part of the healing process. Set Realistic Expectations The holidays come with many expectations, both from others and from ourselves. We might feel pressure to attend every event, decorate every corner, or live up to the ideal of holiday perfection. If you’re grieving, it’s essential to give yourself permission to let go of these expectations. This season may look different for you, and that’s okay. It’s important to be realistic about what you can handle. If you’re feeling emotionally drained, it’s okay to skip certain events or take a break from the festivities. You don’t have to participate in everything, and you certainly don’t have to put on a “happy face” to fit in. Remember that it’s perfectly acceptable to honor your grief and your needs, even if it means doing things differently this year. Create New Traditions or Honor Old Ones The holiday season is full of traditions, many of which may have included the loved one you’ve lost. These traditions can feel painful when they are no longer shared, but they can also provide an opportunity for healing and remembrance. You may find comfort in continuing some traditions, while others may feel too overwhelming. Consider creating new rituals or traditions that honor both your grief and the spirit of the season. This could be something simple, like lighting a candle in memory of your loved one or sharing stories about them with close friends or family. Or it might involve taking time for self-care, such as going for a walk in nature or spending quiet moments reflecting. There is no “right” way to navigate this season, what matters is finding meaningful ways to remember your loved one and make space for your grief while still holding onto the elements of the holidays that bring you peace. Reach Out for Support Grief can often feel isolating, especially during the holidays when everyone else seems to be surrounded by joy and celebration. If you’re struggling, it’s important to reach out for support. This might be through connecting with close friends or family who understand your grief, joining a grief support group, or working with a counsellor. Talking about your feelings, whether it’s about the loss or the difficulty of facing the holidays, can provide a sense of relief and connection. You don’t have to go through this alone, and sharing your emotions can create space for healing and comfort. Practice Self-Compassion During the holidays, we often expect ourselves to be “on” and to experience joy, even when we’re not ready. If you’re grieving, it’s essential to practice self-compassion. Be gentle with yourself. Healing is not linear, and the holidays are no exception. Some moments may feel heavy, and others may bring unexpected joy. Allow yourself to experience both, without guilt or judgment. Give yourself permission to take breaks when you need them, to rest, and to recharge. You don’t have to do everything, what matters is that you take care of yourself and honor the pace that your grief is unfolding. Be kind to yourself as you navigate the waves of emotion that come with loss, and know that healing takes time. Honoring the Memory of Your Loved One The holidays can be a time to celebrate and remember the people we’ve lost. While the season may never feel the same, it can still be an opportunity to cherish the memories of those we’ve loved. Whether through rituals, like creating an altar, looking through old photos, or donating to a cause that was important to your loved one, honoring their memory can bring comfort during a time that may feel lonely or sad. Remember that the love you shared with your loved one doesn’t end with their physical presence. They remain a part of you, and their memory can continue to bring warmth to your heart, even amidst the sadness. Moving Forward with Compassion Navigating grief during the holidays is not easy, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. It’s okay to feel sad, overwhelmed, or conflicted. And it’s also okay to experience moments of peace, laughter, or even joy, grief can coexist with moments of happiness. Healing is a journey that unfolds in its own time. Above all, be gentle with yourself. The holidays may feel different this year, but they can still be a time of love, remembrance, and self-compassion. Your grief is valid, and your healing is important. Take each day as it comes, and know that you are not alone. If you need additional support, or if you're looking for guidance on navigating your grief, I invite you to reach out. Remember, you don’t have to walk this path alone, and together, we can find ways to cope, heal, and honor your loved one this holiday season. Take care of yourself - grief, after all, is the deepest form of love. ebook recommendation Healing from grief is not about moving in a straight line, and my "How to Grieve" Workbook is designed with that in mind. It helps you honor your grief, giving you the permission to feel all the emotions that come with it, without the pressure to "move on" or "get over it." You don’t have to walk this path alone, and this workbook will be here for you every step of the way. Take control of your healing process . Order the "How to Grieve" Workbook today, and begin your journey towards healing in a compassionate and supportive environment. Embrace the ups and downs of grief, knowing that they are all part of the healing process. To get your copy, visit: https://www.sendowl.com/s/workbook/how-to-grieve-workbook-by-tiara-volkmar About the Author Tiara is a professional grief counsellor based in Hobart, Tasmania. With years of experience supporting individuals through the difficult journey of loss, Tiara is passionate about supporting others find healing, peace, and resilience after the passing of a loved one. For more information or to schedule a consultation, please click below:
- Healing Touch: The Power of Reiki
In a world where stress, anxiety, and physical ailments often weigh us down, the idea of healing through touch may seem like a profound, almost mystical concept. But what if I told you that the simple act of laying hands on someone, coupled with focused intention, can have a powerful, transformative effect on the body, mind, and spirit? This is the essence of Reiki, a healing practice that taps into the universal life energy that flows within and around us. As a Reiki practitioner, I have witnessed firsthand the profound impact Reiki can have on individuals from all walks of life. Whether it’s relieving physical pain, soothing emotional wounds, or bringing clarity to a troubled mind, Reiki has the remarkable ability to heal on a deep, soul level. It’s not just about relieving symptoms; it’s about restoring balance, harmonizing energy, and reconnecting with the innate healing power that resides within all of us. What is Reiki? Reiki is a Japanese word that translates to "universal life energy." It is a healing practice based on the idea that energy flows through us and around us, and when this energy is balanced and unrestricted, we experience health and well-being. However, when this energy becomes blocked or imbalanced, it can lead to physical or emotional discomfort. In a Reiki session, the practitioner gently places their hands on or near the body, channeling this healing energy to restore balance and promote relaxation. It is a non-invasive therapy that encourages the body to heal naturally by releasing blockages and facilitating the free flow of energy throughout the body. Reiki is often referred to as a "healing touch" because it involves the power of touch combined with the transmission of energy. It is a deeply nurturing experience, where the practitioner serves as a conduit for the universal energy that is always available to us. The Healing Power of Touch Touch is one of the most basic and profound ways we connect with one another. From the moment we are born, we are greeted with the touch of our caregivers, whether it’s the warm embrace of a mother, a comforting hand on the shoulder, or the reassuring touch of a friend. Touch provides comfort, security, and love. It has the ability to soothe, calm, and heal us in ways that words cannot always express. Reiki harnesses this power of touch to help restore harmony within the body. When Reiki energy is channeled through the hands, it brings with it a deep sense of peace and relaxation. Many people describe Reiki as feeling like a warm, gentle energy flowing through their bodies. The sensation can be soothing and comforting, often leading to a profound sense of calm and tranquility. But Reiki does more than just relax the body, it helps us reconnect with our own inner strength and wisdom. Sometimes, when we’re dealing with pain, stress, or emotional turmoil, we become disconnected from ourselves. Reiki helps us remember that healing is not something that happens to us, it is something that happens through us, with the support of universal energy. The Emotional Healing of Reiki While Reiki is known for its ability to alleviate physical pain, its emotional healing power is just as profound. Emotional wounds, like grief, trauma, or anxiety, can often feel overwhelming and insurmountable. Reiki offers a gentle yet powerful way to release stored emotions, helping to restore emotional balance and clarity. I have had the honor of guiding clients through some of their most painful and difficult experiences. Whether it’s the heartbreak of losing a loved one, the stress of navigating a challenging life transition, or the weight of unresolved emotions, Reiki has the ability to hold space for those feelings. Reiki doesn’t force healing, it allows it to happen naturally and gently, helping you let go of emotional burdens that no longer serve you. One of the most beautiful things about Reiki is its ability to bring about a sense of wholeness, even in the midst of pain. When we allow ourselves to feel supported and cared for through Reiki, we begin to remember that we are worthy of healing. We begin to trust that the energy of love and light can guide us through even the darkest times. The Physical Healing of Reiki On the physical level, Reiki can help ease tension, reduce pain, and support the body’s natural healing processes. Many people turn to Reiki for relief from chronic pain, stress-related conditions, headaches, digestive issues, and more. Because Reiki helps to restore balance to the energy field, it supports the body in its ability to heal itself. It’s important to note that Reiki does not replace medical treatment, but rather complements it. Reiki enhances the body’s natural healing abilities, helping to create a state of deep relaxation that can aid in recovery and well-being. Clients often report feeling a noticeable shift in their physical sensations during and after a session, less tension, reduced pain, and a sense of lightness and rejuvenation. Reiki’s Impact on the Mind and Spirit Reiki has a unique way of quieting the mind, allowing for mental clarity and deep introspection. In our fast-paced world, our minds are often cluttered with worries, to-do lists, and stress. Reiki helps to slow down the mental chatter, allowing you to step into a space of stillness and presence. This mental clarity can open up space for spiritual growth and self-awareness. Reiki encourages you to reconnect with your true essence, the place of peace, love, and strength that resides deep within. It can bring about a sense of connection to something greater than ourselves, helping to restore faith in the healing process and in life itself. Embrace the Power of Reiki Whether you are new to Reiki or have already experienced its benefits, there is always more to explore. Reiki is a practice of healing, self-discovery, and connection. It’s a way to tap into the unlimited energy that flows through each of us, allowing us to heal, grow, and evolve on all levels. If you are struggling with physical pain, emotional turmoil, or simply seeking a deeper connection to yourself and the world around you, Reiki may be the healing touch you’ve been searching for. Remember, healing is a journey, not a destination. I invite you to embrace the power of Reiki in your life. Allow its healing energy to flow through you, to restore balance, and to remind you of the incredible potential for healing and transformation that exists within you. Book Your Reiki Experience Book a Reiki session here and begin your own journey of healing , peace , and self-discovery . You deserve to feel whole, and Reiki can help you get there, one gentle touch at a time. About the Author Tiara is a professional grief counsellor based in Hobart, Tasmania. With years of experience supporting individuals through the difficult journey of loss, Tiara is passionate about supporting others find healing, peace, and resilience after the passing of a loved one. For more information or to schedule a consultation, please click below:
- Grief is Not a Linear Path: Embracing the Ups and Downs
Grief is one of the most complex and deeply personal experiences we go through in life. Whether it’s the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or any other significant loss, the journey of grief is unlike any other. Many people believe that once they begin grieving, there’s a clear path forward, one that leads them from pain to peace, from sadness to acceptance. However, the reality is much different. Grief is not a linear path; it’s a winding road, full of unexpected twists and turns, ups and downs, and moments that can feel as though you’re moving backward instead of forward. As a grief counsellor, I’ve had the privilege of supporting individuals as they navigate this journey. And through this experience, I’ve learned one vital truth: healing from grief doesn’t happen in a straight line. It’s messy, it’s unpredictable, and it often feels like a rollercoaster of emotions. But that doesn’t mean you’re not healing. In fact, it’s often through embracing the ups and downs of grief that we truly begin to heal. Grief Is Not a Timeline One of the most common misconceptions about grief is that it follows a clear, step-by-step timeline. We’ve all heard phrases like “time heals all wounds,” or “you should be over it by now.” These well-meaning sentiments, though often intended to offer comfort, can inadvertently create pressure and guilt. The truth is, grief has no set timetable. There is no official “end date” when it’s acceptable to stop grieving. And just because you’re not grieving in the way you think you should doesn’t mean that you’re not healing. Everyone’s grief journey is unique, and it’s shaped by a multitude of factors, your relationship with the person you lost, your personal coping mechanisms, your circumstances, and even your life experiences before the loss. Sometimes, you might feel like you’re taking a step forward, maybe you’re able to get out of bed more easily, or you’re starting to find moments of peace. But then, out of nowhere, a wave of sadness hits. You might find yourself crying in the middle of the day, or remembering something you’d forgotten about your loved one. This doesn’t mean you’ve taken a step backward. It simply means that grief is not a straight line. It’s full of both progress and setbacks, both joy and sorrow. Embracing the Rollercoaster of Emotions Grief is often described as a rollercoaster, and for good reason. The emotional highs and lows can be intense and disorienting. One moment, you might feel a sense of relief or even happiness, only to be blindsided by deep sadness the next. This constant shift in emotions can feel confusing and unsettling, especially when it feels like you’re not in control of them. What many people don’t realize is that these emotional ups and downs are a normal part of the grief process. There is no one “right” way to grieve, and there is no universal timeline for moving through grief. Some days, you might feel like you’re doing okay, and other days, you might feel completely overwhelmed by sadness or anger. It’s important to understand that grief is not a problem to be fixed. It’s a process to be lived. By allowing yourself to feel whatever emotions arise, without judgment or expectation, you give yourself the permission to heal in your own way, on your own terms. Trying to push away or avoid your grief can only make it more difficult to navigate in the long run. The Stages of Grief: A Framework, Not a Formula Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, are often cited as a guide to understanding the grieving process. While these stages can provide a helpful framework for understanding the emotional experience of grief, they can also be misleading if we think of them as a formula. Grief doesn’t follow a set order, and you might not experience all of these stages at all, or you might experience them in a different order or at different times. The key takeaway from the concept of stages is this: grief is a complex, layered process. You might experience sadness and anger at the same time, or you might revisit an emotion weeks or months after the loss. It’s not about checking off boxes but about accepting that grief can be chaotic, non-linear, and unpredictable. Grief Can Be Unpredictable When you’re in the midst of grief, it can feel like the ground is constantly shifting beneath your feet. You might think you’ve come to terms with a part of your grief, only for something to trigger a fresh wave of sorrow or pain. The unpredictability of grief can feel unsettling, but it also means that you are truly processing and engaging with your emotions. Unexpected moments of grief are not signs of weakness or regression. They’re simply a part of the human experience. A song, a scent, a place, anything can bring the memory of your loved one rushing back in, and the emotion that follows can feel just as intense as it did in the beginning. These moments of sorrow don’t erase the progress you’ve made; they are simply a part of the ebb and flow of grief. In the same way, you might also experience moments of joy, laughter, and connection. These moments don’t mean that you’ve “moved on,” nor should they make you feel guilty. Grief doesn’t have to be all-consuming. It can coexist with happiness, and it’s important to allow yourself to experience the full range of emotions that come with it. Healing doesn’t mean you stop feeling grief, it means that you start learning how to live with it, how to integrate it into your life in a way that allows for both sorrow and joy. Coping with the Ups and Downs If grief is not a linear path, how do we cope with the ups and downs? How do we navigate the unpredictable nature of grief without feeling overwhelmed or lost? 1. Allow yourself to feel: Grief is an emotional experience, and it’s vital to let yourself feel whatever comes up. Don’t suppress or judge your emotions, whether they’re sadness, anger, confusion, or even moments of happiness. 2. Reach out for support: It’s easy to feel isolated during grief, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Lean on your loved ones, seek out a support group, or speak with a grief counselor. Sharing your feelings can help you process them and feel less alone in your experience. 3. Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself. Understand that healing takes time, and that you’re allowed to have good days and bad days. Don’t pressure yourself to “move on” or “get over it” in a set time. Instead, focus on giving yourself the space and care you need to heal at your own pace. 4. Honor your loved one: Find ways to honor the memory of the person or thing you’ve lost. This could be through rituals, creating a memorial, or simply remembering them in quiet moments. Holding onto the love you shared can provide comfort during the most difficult days. Finding Peace Amidst the Chaos Grief may not be a straight path, but it is a journey. While there will be moments of deep sorrow, there can also be moments of peace, of laughter, of remembering what was good and beautiful about the relationship or experience you’ve lost. Embracing the unpredictability of grief is part of learning how to heal. The ups and downs, the emotional rollercoaster, are all part of the process. By allowing yourself to experience grief without trying to control it, you give yourself the space to heal in a way that honors your unique experience. Remember, you are not alone. Grief is a shared human experience, and though the path may not be linear, it is a path that leads toward healing, growth, and ultimately, a deeper understanding of love and loss. ebook recommendation Healing from grief is not about moving in a straight line, and my "How to Grieve" Workbook is designed with that in mind. It helps you honor your grief, giving you the permission to feel all the emotions that come with it, without the pressure to "move on" or "get over it." You don’t have to walk this path alone, and this workbook will be here for you every step of the way. Take control of your healing process . Order the "How to Grieve" Workbook today, and begin your journey towards healing in a compassionate and supportive environment. Embrace the ups and downs of grief, knowing that they are all part of the healing process. To get your copy, visit: https://www.sendowl.com/s/workbook/how-to-grieve-workbook-by-tiara-volkmar About the Author Tiara is a professional grief counsellor based in Hobart, Tasmania. With years of experience supporting individuals through the difficult journey of loss, Tiara is passionate about supporting others find healing, peace, and resilience after the passing of a loved one. For more information or to schedule a consultation, please click below:
- Navigating The Journey of Loss: A Guide to Coping with Grief
Loss is a universal experience, yet it remains one of the most profoundly personal journeys we can undertake. Whether it’s the death of a loved one, the end of a significant relationship, or any other form of loss, grief often leaves us feeling vulnerable, overwhelmed, and unsure of where to turn. Grief isn’t linear; it doesn’t follow a set path or timeline. It’s messy, unpredictable, and sometimes even isolating. But while grief can feel like a storm that shakes the very foundations of our world, it is also a journey, a process that, though difficult, holds the potential for healing and growth. Understanding how to navigate this journey can make a world of difference, and this guide is designed to offer support, insight, and encouragement as you cope with grief in your own unique way. The Many Faces of Grief Grief shows up in many different ways. For some, it’s a constant ache in the chest, a deep sadness that feels endless. For others, it may come as moments of anger or frustration, when the unfairness of loss feels too much to bear. Some people experience numbness or disbelief, as though the world has shifted, and they haven’t caught up yet. Others may even feel relief, which can bring guilt or confusion. One of the first things to understand when navigating grief is that there is no “right” way to grieve. Your grief is your own, and it will unfold in its own time. There is no universal timeline, and there are no rules for what grief should look like. It’s important to remember that your emotions are valid, no matter how they manifest. Understanding the Emotional Rollercoaster Grief is often compared to an emotional rollercoaster because it can feel unpredictable. You might wake up feeling okay and then suddenly find yourself overwhelmed by a wave of sadness, anger, or longing. One moment, you might find yourself laughing or enjoying a moment of peace, only to be pulled back into grief moments later. This back-and-forth nature of grief can feel exhausting and confusing, but it’s all part of the process. One of the most important steps in coping with grief is to allow yourself the space to feel whatever emotions come up. Trying to suppress or avoid feelings of grief can delay healing and leave you feeling even more disconnected. Instead, let yourself experience your emotions as they come, without judgment or shame. It’s also helpful to remember that grief can show up not just emotionally, but physically. You may experience fatigue, headaches, changes in appetite, or trouble sleeping. These physical symptoms are common responses to the emotional toll of loss, and they can make an already difficult time feel even more overwhelming. Self-compassion is essential during this time. Be gentle with yourself, and acknowledge that your body is also going through a grieving process. The Stages of Grief: A Framework, Not a Formula The “stages of grief,” as outlined by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, can provide a helpful framework for understanding the range of emotions people may experience during grief. These stages - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, are not necessarily experienced in a set order, and you may move back and forth between them. Some may even skip certain stages altogether. What’s important to remember is that these stages aren’t a checklist to tick off. Grief is not a linear process, and your experience may not fit neatly into any one of these categories. The goal is not to move through the stages but to find your own way through the experience of grief, acknowledging what you feel, when you feel it, and understanding that healing comes at its own pace. Coping Strategies: Finding Your Way Through Grief When it comes to coping with grief, there is no “one-size-fits-all” approach. However, there are strategies that can help you navigate the journey and begin the process of healing. 1. Allow Yourself to Feel The first step in coping with grief is to give yourself permission to feel whatever you’re feeling, without judgment. It’s okay to feel sadness, anger, confusion, or even relief. Your feelings are valid, and there is no “correct” way to grieve. By acknowledging your emotions rather than suppressing them, you create space for healing to begin. 2. Lean on Your Support System Grief can be incredibly isolating, but it’s important to remember that you don’t have to go through it alone. Lean on your friends, family, or support groups for emotional support. Share your feelings with those you trust. Talking about your grief doesn’t mean you have to have all the answers or “fix” the situation. Sometimes, just being heard is the most powerful thing someone can offer. 3. Seek Professional Help Sometimes, grief can feel too overwhelming to navigate on your own. If you find that your grief is consuming you or interfering with your daily life, seeking professional help from a grief counselor can be incredibly beneficial. A counselor can offer a safe, compassionate space to explore your emotions, develop coping strategies, and begin to heal. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. 4. Practice Self-Care Grieving takes a tremendous emotional and physical toll on the body. During this time, self-care is crucial. It doesn’t have to be elaborate or time-consuming, simple acts like taking a walk in nature, getting enough sleep, eating nourishing meals, or engaging in a creative hobby can provide relief and help restore balance to your mind and body. 5. Create Rituals to Honor Your Loss Rituals can be a powerful way to honor your loss and create a sense of connection. This could involve lighting a candle for your loved one, writing letters to express what you’re feeling, or creating a memory box with photographs or items that remind you of them. Rituals give us a way to hold space for our grief and allow us to continue moving forward while honoring our loved ones. 6. Be Patient with Yourself Healing from grief is not a race. It takes time. Be patient with yourself and resist the urge to “move on” before you’re ready. There may be days when you feel like you’re taking steps backward, and that’s okay. Grief isn’t a straight line, it’s a winding road, with many twists and turns. Honor your journey, wherever it may take you. Finding Hope: The Path Forward Though grief may feel all-consuming at times, it’s important to know that healing is possible. Grief does not mean you will forget your loved one, nor does it mean you must live in sadness forever. As time passes, the sharpness of grief often softens, and you’ll find that it becomes more integrated into your life. You may begin to see glimpses of joy and purpose again, even while holding the memory of your loss close to your heart. Remember, healing is not about forgetting. It’s about learning how to live with the loss and finding new ways to carry forward the love, lessons, and memories left behind. It’s about rediscovering joy, meaning, and hope in a world that has been irrevocably changed. If you’re struggling with grief, know that you don’t have to face it alone. Help is available, whether through loved ones, support groups, or professional counselling. The journey of loss is not one you have to navigate by yourself, and there is no shame in asking for help. Take one step at a time. Healing is a journey, not a destination. ebook recommendation Healing from grief is not about moving in a straight line, and my "How to Grieve" Workbook is designed with that in mind. It helps you honor your grief, giving you the permission to feel all the emotions that come with it, without the pressure to "move on" or "get over it." You don’t have to walk this path alone, and this workbook will be here for you every step of the way. Take control of your healing process . Order the "How to Grieve" Workbook today, and begin your journey towards healing in a compassionate and supportive environment. Embrace the ups and downs of grief, knowing that they are all part of the healing process. To get your copy, visit: https://www.sendowl.com/s/workbook/how-to-grieve-workbook-by-tiara-volkmar About the Author Tiara is a professional grief counsellor based in Hobart, Tasmania. With years of experience supporting individuals through the difficult journey of loss, Tiara is passionate about supporting others find healing, peace, and resilience after the passing of a loved one. For more information or to schedule a consultation, please click below:
- The Healing Power of Grief Counselling: Why It Matters
Grief is a powerful force - one that can shake us to our core, challenge our sense of self, and leave us feeling lost in a world that seems to have moved on while we stand still, heavy with sorrow. Whether it's the loss of a loved one, the end of a meaningful chapter in life, or any other type of loss, grief can feel isolating and overwhelming. But what if I told you that there is healing in the very act of facing this pain, and that healing is possible with the support of someone who truly understands? As a grief counsellor, I have had the privilege of walking alongside individuals and families during some of their most difficult moments. I've seen firsthand how grief counselling offers not only comfort but also hope and resilience. It's not just a profession for me - it's my passion. With the death of my father during my adolescence, I completely lost my sense of self. It was at that moment that I realized the true importance of communication and relationships. My own grieving process led me on a long, intense, and painful journey of self-discovery Through my work, I’ve come to deeply understand the profound impact that grief counselling can have in helping people navigate their pain and find their way back to healing. Grief is Unique, and So is Healing One of the first things I tell anyone seeking grief counselling is that there is no “right” way to grieve. There’s no formula, no checklist, no set timeline. Grief is as unique as the person experiencing it. And this is precisely why grief counselling is so important. It provides a safe, compassionate space for individuals to process their emotions in a way that is deeply personal and tailored to their needs. In the midst of loss, many people feel as though they have to "get over it" or "move on" quickly - whether due to external pressures or their own expectations. But grief is not something to be fixed or hurried. It's something to be acknowledged, experienced, and gradually healed. Grief counselling helps people honor their pain without judgment, allowing them the time and space they need to heal at their own pace. The Role of a Grief Counsellor: Holding Space A grief counselor is not there to offer quick fixes or tell clients how to feel. Instead, the role of a grief counsellor is to hold space - to listen deeply, with empathy and without judgment, as the client shares their grief. Sometimes, the most healing thing we can do is simply to be present for someone, to acknowledge their pain, and to let them know they are not alone. In my work, I’ve seen how powerful it can be for someone to speak their truth, to express the emotions that have been buried under the weight of their loss. I’ve witnessed how, through this process, people can start to release the pent-up sorrow, anger, guilt, or confusion that grief often brings. In turn, this allows them to find clarity, peace, and ultimately, a sense of renewal. Grief Counselling Helps Navigate the Waves of Emotion Grief often comes in waves. One moment, you may feel overwhelmed by sadness, and the next, you might experience anger or even relief. These emotions can feel contradictory, confusing, and exhausting. Grief counselling helps individuals make sense of these shifting emotions. By exploring the emotional landscape of grief with a trained counsellor, clients can begin to understand what they are feeling and why. They can learn coping strategies to manage the intense emotions that often arise during the grieving process. Through this, they come to see that these emotions are not something to fear but an essential part of the healing journey. The Power of Validation and Understanding Grief can be deeply isolating. People may feel as though no one understands the depth of their pain, especially if others around them haven’t experienced a similar loss. This sense of isolation can prevent healing, making it even harder to move forward. Grief counselling offers an invaluable opportunity for individuals to feel seen and heard. A skilled counsellor offers not only empathy but also validation - acknowledging that their grief is real, their emotions are valid, and that their healing is possible. This sense of understanding helps to break down the walls of isolation that often surround those who are grieving. Tools for Healing: Building Resilience While grief counselling offers a safe space to express and process pain, it also provides tools for resilience. One of the most powerful aspects of grief counselling is the development of coping skills that help individuals face their grief in healthy ways. Whether it’s mindfulness techniques to manage anxiety, journaling exercises to help organize and express feelings, or developing a self-care routine to nurture mental health, a grief counsellor can introduce clients to strategies that will help them navigate not just the grief they’re experiencing now, but any future challenges that may arise. Healing through grief counselling is not about forgetting or moving on from the loss; it’s about finding a way to live with it. It’s about learning to carry grief while continuing to live fully, with meaning and purpose. Through counselling, individuals can start to regain a sense of control over their lives and begin to see a path forward, even if that path is a slow and gradual one. Moving Beyond Grief: Finding Hope The most beautiful part of grief counseling is seeing the transformation that takes place when someone moves from merely surviving their grief to finding new hope, purpose, and strength. It is not a journey that happens overnight, but it is one that can lead to profound growth. Many people who have walked through the fire of grief find themselves with a new perspective on life - a deeper appreciation for what they have, a renewed sense of connection to others, and a commitment to living fully, even in the face of loss. In my experience, grief counselling doesn’t just help people heal from their pain; it helps them discover new ways of living and being. It is a journey that, though filled with difficulty, can lead to a life that is richer and more meaningful than they ever expected. Why Grief Counseling Matters Grief counselling matters because grief is a universal experience, yet it’s one that many people face alone. It matters because people need a safe place to process their emotions without fear of judgment or misunderstanding. It matters because it provides tools for healing, resilience, and hope. And most importantly, it matters because everyone deserves to heal. If you or someone you know is struggling with grief, I encourage you to reach out. You don’t have to walk this path alone, and healing is possible with the right support. Grief is not a burden you need to carry forever - there is hope, there is healing, and there is always a way forward. ebook recommendation Healing from grief is not about moving in a straight line, and my "How to Grieve" Workbook is designed with that in mind. It helps you honor your grief, giving you the permission to feel all the emotions that come with it, without the pressure to "move on" or "get over it." You don’t have to walk this path alone, and this workbook will be here for you every step of the way. Take control of your healing process . Order the "How to Grieve" Workbook today, and begin your journey towards healing in a compassionate and supportive environment. Embrace the ups and downs of grief, knowing that they are all part of the healing process. To get your copy, visit: https://www.sendowl.com/s/workbook/how-to-grieve-workbook-by-tiara-volkmar About the Author Tiara is a professional grief counsellor based in Hobart, Tasmania. With years of experience supporting individuals through the difficult journey of loss, Tiara is passionate about supporting others find healing, peace, and resilience after the passing of a loved one. For more information or to schedule a consultation, please click below:
- Understanding Grief: The First Step Towards Healing
Grief is an emotion that we all experience at some point in our lives, but despite its universal nature, it often feels like a journey we must walk alone. Whether it's the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, the loss of a cherished dream, or any significant life change, grief can be overwhelming. It’s complex, deeply personal, and often misunderstood. But the first step toward healing begins with understanding grief - what it is, what it isn’t, and why it matters. As a grief counsellor, I’ve had the privilege of walking alongside individuals as they navigate their grief. Through my work, I’ve come to realize that one of the most important things we can do when we’re grieving is to simply allow ourselves to understand and accept the emotions that arise. This is the first step on the road to healing, and it’s an essential one. So, let’s take a moment to explore what grief really is - and how understanding it can help us heal. What Is Grief? Grief is the emotional, physical, and psychological response to loss. It’s the sadness, emptiness, confusion, and even anger that can come when someone or something we love is taken away from us. But grief isn’t just about sadness. It can show up in many different ways, including anxiety, guilt, numbness, or even relief. It’s not a one-size-fits-all experience - everyone grieves in their own way, and that’s okay. For many, grief is an all-encompassing experience. It can feel like a heavy fog that descends upon your life, making even the simplest tasks feel impossible. It can change the way you see the world and the way you see yourself. It can create a deep longing for things that will never be the same again. In many ways, grief is a reflection of how much we have loved. The Myths of Grief One of the challenges people face when grieving is the misconceptions surrounding it. Society often has unrealistic expectations of what grief should look like and how long it should last. There’s this notion that after a certain period of time, you should be “over it,” as if grief has an expiration date. But grief doesn’t follow a set timeline, and it doesn’t always look neat or tidy. Many people also believe that grieving should be something you can control. There’s an expectation to stay strong, to put on a brave face, or to “move on” as quickly as possible. But these expectations can lead to feelings of shame or isolation, especially when grief doesn’t “follow the rules.” The truth is, there is no right or wrong way to grieve. There is no set timeline. Grief is deeply personal, and it’s a journey that unfolds in its own time. The Stages of Grief: A Helpful Framework, Not a Rulebook The idea of the “stages of grief” - popularized by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in the 1960s - has helped many people understand grief as a process. These stages include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While these stages can be useful in identifying some of the emotional experiences of grief, it’s important to remember that grief doesn’t follow a linear path. You might feel denial one moment and then experience waves of anger or sadness at another time. Sometimes, you may even skip over some of the stages altogether. This is all perfectly normal. Grief doesn’t move in a straight line, and each person’s journey will look different. Grief Is Not Just About Loss - It’s About Change When we think of grief, we often associate it with the loss of a loved one. And while that’s certainly a significant source of grief, loss comes in many forms. Grief can also arise from changes like moving away from home, losing a job, facing health challenges, or the end of a meaningful relationship. Each of these situations brings about a sense of loss, and with that, the need to grieve. Understanding that grief is not just about death can help broaden our perspective. It helps us recognize that grief is a natural response to any type of loss, and that it’s okay to grieve when life changes in ways we didn’t expect or want. This recognition allows us to approach grief with more compassion for ourselves and for others who are grieving in different ways. Why Understanding Grief Matters Understanding grief is the first step toward healing because it allows us to normalize our emotions. When we understand that grief is not something to “fix” or “move on from,” we can begin to honor it, sit with it, and process it in a healthy way. Trying to suppress or deny grief only delays the healing process, and in some cases, it can make the pain more intense over time. By understanding grief, we also give ourselves permission to feel. We stop telling ourselves that we “should” be feeling a certain way or that we need to be stronger, more “together,” or more “resilient” in the face of loss. Instead, we allow ourselves the grace to experience grief as it comes, knowing that it is part of being human. And in that process, we learn to be kinder to ourselves. Understanding grief also helps us recognize that healing is not about “getting over it.” Healing is about learning to live with the loss, finding new ways to move forward, and discovering how to live a meaningful life despite the pain. It’s about finding hope, even in the midst of heartache. The Role of Grief Counselling in Healing One of the most effective ways to understand and navigate grief is through grief counselling. Grief counselling offers a safe, compassionate space where individuals can process their emotions and gain insights into their grief. It provides an opportunity to talk openly about feelings of sadness, anger, guilt, or confusion without judgment. A grief counsellor is there to help you understand what you’re going through and offer support as you move through the different phases of grief. Grief counselling isn’t about “fixing” you or making the pain go away. It’s about guiding you through the process of understanding and integrating your grief, giving you the tools to cope, and helping you find meaning in your experience. It’s about helping you heal - not by erasing the loss, but by helping you live with it in a healthy, productive way. Moving Forward with Compassion and Patience If you’re reading this and you’re in the midst of grief, know this: your grief is valid. It’s not something to be ashamed of or to rush through. It’s a natural response to loss, and it’s okay to feel however you’re feeling. The first step toward healing is understanding grief - what it is, how it shows up, and why it matters. Take the time to honor your emotions, seek support when needed, and give yourself the grace to heal at your own pace. Healing may not mean “getting over it,” but learning to live with the pain, integrating it into your life, and finding a new sense of peace as you move forward. If you need support, remember that you don’t have to walk this journey alone. Grief counselling can be a powerful tool in helping you understand and navigate the complexities of grief. You are not alone, and healing is possible. ebook recommendation Healing from grief is not about moving in a straight line, and my "How to Grieve" Workbook is designed with that in mind. It helps you honor your grief, giving you the permission to feel all the emotions that come with it, without the pressure to "move on" or "get over it." You don’t have to walk this path alone, and this workbook will be here for you every step of the way. Take control of your healing process . Order the "How to Grieve" Workbook today, and begin your journey towards healing in a compassionate and supportive environment. Embrace the ups and downs of grief, knowing that they are all part of the healing process. To get your copy, visit: https://www.sendowl.com/s/workbook/how-to-grieve-workbook-by-tiara-volkmar About the Author Tiara is a professional grief counsellor based in Hobart, Tasmania. With years of experience supporting individuals through the difficult journey of loss, Tiara is passionate about supporting others find healing, peace, and resilience after the passing of a loved one. For more information or to schedule a consultation, please click below: