Loss is a universal experience, yet it remains one of the most profoundly personal journeys we can undertake. Whether it’s the death of a loved one, the end of a significant relationship, or any other form of loss, grief often leaves us feeling vulnerable, overwhelmed, and unsure of where to turn.
Grief isn’t linear; it doesn’t follow a set path or timeline. It’s messy, unpredictable, and sometimes even isolating. But while grief can feel like a storm that shakes the very foundations of our world, it is also a journey, a process that, though difficult, holds the potential for healing and growth. Understanding how to navigate this journey can make a world of difference, and this guide is designed to offer support, insight, and encouragement as you cope with grief in your own unique way.
The Many Faces of Grief
Grief shows up in many different ways. For some, it’s a constant ache in the chest, a deep sadness that feels endless. For others, it may come as moments of anger or frustration, when the unfairness of loss feels too much to bear. Some people experience numbness or disbelief, as though the world has shifted, and they haven’t caught up yet. Others may even feel relief, which can bring guilt or confusion.
One of the first things to understand when navigating grief is that there is no “right” way to grieve. Your grief is your own, and it will unfold in its own time. There is no universal timeline, and there are no rules for what grief should look like. It’s important to remember that your emotions are valid, no matter how they manifest.
Understanding the Emotional Rollercoaster
Grief is often compared to an emotional rollercoaster because it can feel unpredictable. You might wake up feeling okay and then suddenly find yourself overwhelmed by a wave of sadness, anger, or longing. One moment, you might find yourself laughing or enjoying a moment of peace, only to be pulled back into grief moments later.
This back-and-forth nature of grief can feel exhausting and confusing, but it’s all part of the process. One of the most important steps in coping with grief is to allow yourself the space to feel whatever emotions come up. Trying to suppress or avoid feelings of grief can delay healing and leave you feeling even more disconnected. Instead, let yourself experience your emotions as they come, without judgment or shame.
It’s also helpful to remember that grief can show up not just emotionally, but physically. You may experience fatigue, headaches, changes in appetite, or trouble sleeping. These physical symptoms are common responses to the emotional toll of loss, and they can make an already difficult time feel even more overwhelming. Self-compassion is essential during this time. Be gentle with yourself, and acknowledge that your body is also going through a grieving process.
The Stages of Grief: A Framework, Not a Formula
The “stages of grief,” as outlined by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, can provide a helpful framework for understanding the range of emotions people may experience during grief. These stages - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, are not necessarily experienced in a set order, and you may move back and forth between them. Some may even skip certain stages altogether.
What’s important to remember is that these stages aren’t a checklist to tick off. Grief is not a linear process, and your experience may not fit neatly into any one of these categories. The goal is not to move through the stages but to find your own way through the experience of grief, acknowledging what you feel, when you feel it, and understanding that healing comes at its own pace.
Coping Strategies: Finding Your Way Through Grief
When it comes to coping with grief, there is no “one-size-fits-all” approach. However, there are strategies that can help you navigate the journey and begin the process of healing.
1. Allow Yourself to Feel
The first step in coping with grief is to give yourself permission to feel whatever you’re feeling, without judgment. It’s okay to feel sadness, anger, confusion, or even relief. Your feelings are valid, and there is no “correct” way to grieve. By acknowledging your emotions rather than suppressing them, you create space for healing to begin.
2. Lean on Your Support System
Grief can be incredibly isolating, but it’s important to remember that you don’t have to go through it alone. Lean on your friends, family, or support groups for emotional support. Share your feelings with those you trust. Talking about your grief doesn’t mean you have to have all the answers or “fix” the situation. Sometimes, just being heard is the most powerful thing someone can offer.
3. Seek Professional Help
Sometimes, grief can feel too overwhelming to navigate on your own. If you find that your grief is consuming you or interfering with your daily life, seeking professional help from a grief counselor can be incredibly beneficial. A counselor can offer a safe, compassionate space to explore your emotions, develop coping strategies, and begin to heal. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
4. Practice Self-Care
Grieving takes a tremendous emotional and physical toll on the body. During this time, self-care is crucial. It doesn’t have to be elaborate or time-consuming, simple acts like taking a walk in nature, getting enough sleep, eating nourishing meals, or engaging in a creative hobby can provide relief and help restore balance to your mind and body.
5. Create Rituals to Honor Your Loss
Rituals can be a powerful way to honor your loss and create a sense of connection. This could involve lighting a candle for your loved one, writing letters to express what you’re feeling, or creating a memory box with photographs or items that remind you of them. Rituals give us a way to hold space for our grief and allow us to continue moving forward while honoring our loved ones.
6. Be Patient with Yourself
Healing from grief is not a race. It takes time. Be patient with yourself and resist the urge to “move on” before you’re ready. There may be days when you feel like you’re taking steps backward, and that’s okay. Grief isn’t a straight line, it’s a winding road, with many twists and turns. Honor your journey, wherever it may take you.
Finding Hope: The Path Forward
Though grief may feel all-consuming at times, it’s important to know that healing is possible. Grief does not mean you will forget your loved one, nor does it mean you must live in sadness forever. As time passes, the sharpness of grief often softens, and you’ll find that it becomes more integrated into your life. You may begin to see glimpses of joy and purpose again, even while holding the memory of your loss close to your heart.
Remember, healing is not about forgetting. It’s about learning how to live with the loss and finding new ways to carry forward the love, lessons, and memories left behind. It’s about rediscovering joy, meaning, and hope in a world that has been irrevocably changed.
If you’re struggling with grief, know that you don’t have to face it alone. Help is available, whether through loved ones, support groups, or professional counselling. The journey of loss is not one you have to navigate by yourself, and there is no shame in asking for help.
Take one step at a time. Healing is a journey, not a destination.
ebook recommendation
Healing from grief is not about moving in a straight line, and my "How to Grieve" Workbook is designed with that in mind. It helps you honor your grief, giving you the permission to feel all the emotions that come with it, without the pressure to "move on" or "get over it." You don’t have to walk this path alone, and this workbook will be here for you every step of the way.
Take control of your healing process. Order the "How to Grieve" Workbook today, and begin your journey towards healing in a compassionate and supportive environment. Embrace the ups and downs of grief, knowing that they are all part of the healing process.
To get your copy, visit: https://www.sendowl.com/s/workbook/how-to-grieve-workbook-by-tiara-volkmar
About the Author
Tiara is a professional grief counsellor based in Hobart, Tasmania. With years of experience supporting individuals through the difficult journey of loss, Tiara is passionate about supporting others find healing, peace, and resilience after the passing of a loved one.
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